Get The Girl

Game: Get The Girl
Developer: Some terrible person
Platform: PC (Windows 3.1)
Release Year: Early 90's
Stephen's Rating: 0/10

Basic Plot

The scenario is that you are a guy trying to get into a girl's pants. 

Gameplay

The game at its essence was a sort of quiz or text adventure. The only means of interaction you had was to respond to or ask questions which were simple text.  I can't remember much more than that.

Before you started you got to pick from one of a few "characters" to play as. They all looked like dirty old homeless men, potentially sexual predators. The game wasn't off to a good start.

From then on you'll be shown a stock image of a woman in a bikini and a bunch of cliché but grilling questions which never end. If you do succeed in wooing the first lady she tells you to woo her friend which is as much fun as the first time round but the novelty (if there ever was any) has worn off.

Positives

None.

I couldn't find any review or information about the game other than what I had in my memory, plus I found this video which pretty much sums it up.

Negatives

Cheesy, terrible concept, not fun at all, not even a game, badly designed, AWFUL sound effects. The world would be a better place if this game had never been developed.

Memorable Moments

None. I mostly managed to block out the memory of this awful piece of software.

Bomber

Game: Bomber
Developer: Patrick Pich
Platform: PC
Release Year: 1993
Stephen's Rating: 4/10

Basic Plot

None. In-fact you started the game and instantly you were flying a plane without any backstory or even a menu (from memory). It was the anti-plot.

Gameplay

Bomber was a simple top down shoot-em-up flying game. The game involves dodging enemies and their gunfire, and shooting down enemy planes and ground cannons.

Although very simple and early this game has aspects of traditional spacies games but also Raptor.

Positives

Smooth graphics, simple and easy to understand and play.

Negatives

It's very repetitive and doesn't any story or narrative either.

Memorable Moments

My brother chose this game out from an edition of Simply Shareware magazine.

Halo: Combat Evolved

Game: Halo: Combat Evolved
Developer: Bungie, Gearbox, Westlake Interactive
Platform: PC (originally available on Xbox)
Release Year: 2001
Stephen's Rating: 6/10

Halo is one of the most infamous and recognized series in video game history.

Basic Plot

The story is set in a science fiction future universe where human kind has inhabited other planets. The SPARTAN and SPARTAN-II military projects have been developed on the planet Reach to develop biologically engineered super-soldiers.

An alien race called the Covenant starts attacking human settlements stating that humanity is an affront to their gods. The humans take severe losses. One ship, the Pillar of Autumn survives an assault on the planet Reach and initiates a random jump into slipspace to lead the Covenant away from humanity. In doing so they find Halo, a huge space-station shaped like a ring which is covered in plant life like a planet.

The story revolves around the protagonist, Master Chief, who is a product of the SPARTAN-II project. The game explores the Halo and the ongoing conflict with the Covenant.

Gameplay

Halo is a first person shooter. The campaign involves travelling through Halo and engaging in Covenant forces.

You gather both human and alien weaponry throughout the game to engage enemies. Every weapon has a unique purpose and retains its usefulness later into the game. Alien weapons often contain energy packs which cannot be reloaded, once they run out the gun needs to be discarded. They also overheat if used too rapidly over a long period of time. The player can carry two weapons at any one time which introduces a layer of strategy in picking the right weapon for the current situation. You can also perform a melee attack and throw grenades.

There are also vehicles which can be used in the game such as jeeps, tanks, alien hovercraft which switch the game over to a third person view.

The enemies in the game consist mostly of the Covenant but also include a third faction, the Flood, who are a parasitic life form. The Flood aren't much by themselves but they can infect both human and Covenant soldiers and take them over (deforming them in the process).

The game supports local network multiplayer for both deathmatch and co-operative play.

The Flood

Positives

Immersive and complex game world. The enemies, the setting, the scenery and music are all cohesive into a world that makes sense. The weapons were also well designed.

Negatives

Combat itself sometimes felt a bit clunky in comparison to other first person shooters such as Counter-Strike. I found the accuracy of the game mechanics meant there was always an element of luck involved in each battle rather than actually being able to dominate with pure skill.

Memorable Moments

I played a PC version of this on a fairly old computer, and the game engine didn't handle it well.

Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies

Game: Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies
Developer: Level-5
Platform: Nintendo DS
Release Year: 2009
Stephen's Rating: 6/10

Basic Plot

The player character is a Celestrian, a being designed to look over mortal people. You are given the job of watching over the people of Angel Falls. By completing good deeds the player is able to obtain "benevolence" and gives this to the World Tree in the hope of obtaining a "fygg" which will allow all Celestrians to move to the Realm of the Almighty. Yes, it's freaking complicated already.

To cut a long story short, just as you obtain a fygg the Observatory is attacked. You end up losing your powers and become mortal, and spend the rest of the game trying to find fyggs and find out who attacked the World Tree in the first place.

Gameplay

Dragon Quest IX is a role playing adventure game similar in style to the early Final Fantasy series. Apparently in Japan the series is huge, but has had little limelight in America and Europe.

The graphics are 3D rendered but are basic enough for the Nintendo DS console to handle smoothly. Overall the visual aesthetic is nice to look at.

You have a primary character who is a Celestian who loses his powers, and party members of which there are many to choose from (but you can only take 3 with you at any one time, and it is highly recommended you pick 3 and stick with them to save re-levelling up characters).

Characters could be cosmetically customised during the game, altering traits such as gender, skin tone, hair colour, and body shape. The weapons and armour you equipped were also visible on your character which is always a bonus for me.

Each character had a vocation (character class) which determined a lot about their abilities. Near the beginning of the game you obtain access to 6 vocations, and there are another 6 which are unlockable by completing different quests. Some of these quests are difficult to achieve. The vocations included:

• Minstrel; Starting character, jack of all trades - basically the Freelancer from Final Fantasy.
• Warrior
• Mage
• Priest
• Martial Artist
• Thief
• Armamentalist
• Ranger
• Gladiator
• Sage
• Paladin
• Luminary

Moving around as well as battles is identical to what you'd expect from a Final Fantasy game. Fighting is turn based. After all commands have been issued both you and your opponent's moves will play out based on which characters have the best speed.

The game was designed so you could play the campaign with up to 4 player co-operative multiplayer. I never played this, but I imagine it would be a lot of fun. Nintendo Wifi wasn't supported, only local wireless.

The campaign is huge and is said to take 100 hours on average, but for a completionist like me that could be well over 300 hours.

Positives

This is a really well made RPG. The mechanics are nice, the visuals and sound are also pleasant.

Negatives

The story is too convoluted. Especially considering you have to read all the dialogue. I put the game down for about a week, came back to it, and was COMPLETELY lost.

I also found some of the quests very frustrating. One of the quests involved doing a particular move on a particular unit without it fleeing (to obtain a new class) and I spent literally hours trying to do it without any success.

Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness

Game: Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness
Developer: Blizzard
Platform: PC
Release Year: 1995
Stephen's Rating: 6/10

Basic Plot

The story follows the event known as the Second War. The Orcs have previously conquered Azeroth in the First War (the story of Warcraft: Orcs and Humans) after arriving through the Portal from their homeland of Draenor. The humans have fled to Lordaeron since and now the Orcs have set their sights on taking Lordaeron too.

Both factions have gained new allies and forces (including spellcasters) and the war ends with the Alliance (humans and their allies) capturing the Orc leader and closing the Portal (stranding the remaining Orcs, and preventing reinforcements from arriving).

Gameplay

Warcraft II was a giant leap toward the modern day real time strategy game (RTS). As with all real time strategy games players gather resources (wood, gold, and oil) and use those to build structures and military units. Resources run out, so part of the game is about spending them wisely.

A big shift from the original Warcraft: Orcs and Humans was the emphasis on character and story. This theme ran strong in the sequel games as well as the StarCraft franchise. The ultimate culmination of the building up of the Warcraft universe was the development of World of Warcraft.

Unlike the previous game, units were divided into land, sea, or air, greatly extending the array of units available to both factions. It also meant different maps were played out with different strategies. For example; an ocean based map could be more easily won by investing in sea or air forces.

Multiplayer was included in this game and became the norm for every RTS game that followed.

Positives

Dynamic and free flowing gameplay and good multiplayer support. Being able to group select units was a major improvement on older RTS games.

Negatives

Unlike StarCraft one of the major issues I had was the similarity between the two factions. The Orc and Human units were identical in almost every way except how they looked cosmetically. This ultimately meant it didn't matter which race you went, both had essentially the same unit composition.

Memorable Moments

When you clicked on a unit for long enough they would say little "extra" comments such as "stop poking me!" if you clicked a peon for long enough. Quirky and memorable.

Ultima IX: Ascension

Game: Ultima IX: Ascension
Developer: Origin Systems
Platform: PC
Release Year: 1999
Stephen's Rating: 4/10

Ultima IX: Ascension was the final installment in the illustrious Ultima series which spanned over two decades. It was also the most disappointing game I've ever had the experience of playing.

Basic Plot

After being banished to the world of Pagan by the Guardian in Ultima VIII: Pagan the Avatar returns to Britannia to face off against his ultimate enemy.

Britannia has been corrupted. Giant pillars which eminate the Guardian's influence have sprouted up around the land. The eight runes of the virtues have been twisted into glyphs and hidden inside the pillars. The Avatar's companions have been brainwashed into defending these pillars. Lord Blackthorn has allied with The Guardian and leads the Wyrmguard in forcing the populace to follow the Guardian.

The Avatar on Earth, showing the moongate to Britannia.

The story involves the Avatar travelling to the heart of each of the pillars and reclaiming the glyph inside. The glyphs are then cleaned at the corresponding shrine. The Avatar then learns that the Guardian is in fact the shadow half of the Avatar; they are two faces to the same coin. In order to defeat him the Avatar casts the Armageddon spell inside the Barrier of Life to send both himself and the Guardian to a higher plane.

The original plot for the game was quite different (and much better in my opinion) but was cut and altered significantly before the release.

Gameplay

Ultima IX: Ascension was a third person role playing game set in the Ultima universe.

The player controls one character, the Avatar, and guides him through the world of Britannia through various combat, puzzles, and conversations to complete the game.

Combat is action orientated and requires real-time movement and clicking (rather than turn based strategy of earlier games).

As with Ultima VIII: Pagan there was an emphasis on puzzle solving within the dungeons.

Advancement was achieved by bringing glyphs to shrines and cleansing them. Each time you did this you gained a level and chose a stat to raise. Magic ability was determined by karma, which was obtained by doing good deed and lost by performing bad ones.

Positives

The visuals were ahead of the time. The detail was stunning, and the world itself was a pleasure to be in. The one part of the story I liked was when Lord British realises he has to stop relying on the Avatar to solve all his problems, and the people must fight for themselves.

Negatives

The story was patchy and weak. One of the strengths of the Ultima games was their intricate storylines. This one felt incomplete, rushed, and misplaced. For the final game of the series this was very disappointing.

One of the things that really annoyed me was the lack of references to the previous games. All of these new characters were introduced who were not part of any of the other games, but about characters from Ultima VII: Black Gate such as Spark? Or Tseramed? Why had the entire layout of all the cities changed? Who was this Raven woman? Why couldn't they have used one of the multitude of characters from the previous games?

One of the things which gave the Ultima series comic relief and a sense of fun and lightheartedness were the companions of the Avatar which were present until Ultima VIII: Pagan. Both that game and this one lost something important by only having a single playable character without companions, and I think the choice to exclude them was a bad one.

Lord British.

Unlike the other Ultima games the plot and gameplay was linear. There wasn't a lot of exploring that could be done; the world wasn't as open as previous games. I believe there were entire sections of the world that exist in the game files half-completed but never used.

The game was exceptionally buggy. Due to rushed release dates the game had so many bugs that it was practically unplayable. Every time I played the game there were major issues which forced me to use console commands to progress. In the last game I played the entering the city of Britain forced the game to quit, but luckily I found a way to progress to the end of the game whilst avoiding the city entirely (I was able to enter the castle).

The controls were unnatural and I don't believe you could change them. Compared to other third person games such as Neverwinter Nights they were frustrating.

All in all Ultima IX: Ascension is a perfect example of what a tight budget and limited deadlines can do to a game. Shame on you Electronic Arts for ruining one of the greatest series in history.

Memorable Moments

The most fun I had in the game was collecting the Blackrock armour and sword.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Game: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Developer: BioWare
Platform: PC
Release Year: 2003
Stephen's Rating: 8/10

Basic Plot

Set 4000 years before the Star Wars film series, Knights of the Old Republic (Kotor) was set in a time where both Jedi and Sith were spread throughout the galaxy.

Darth Malak (Darth Revan's former apprentice) has unleashed his armada against the Republic. The aggression has forced many Jedi into hiding, while others have joined Malak on the dark side.

The player character begins on a Republic ship under attack by Malak. He or she has no memory of their past, and the story revolves around gathering companions, fighting Malak's forces, and uncovering your lost memories.

The player is trained to become a Jedi, and also learns that Malak is after the "Star Forge". Before reaching the Star Forge the player finds out their true identity - Darth Revan. Revan was betrayed by Malak and injured, and then subjected to memory alteration by the Jedi Council.

When arriving at the Star Forge the player is able to choose between the dark and light paths; either defeat Malak and the Sith, or take Malak down and become the new lord of the Sith.

Gameplay

The game plays out as a third person role playing game with elements of D&D.

Being based on D&D, each character in the player's party is able to level up by gaining experience. This is obtained by defeating enemies and completing quests. Upon levelling up a character is able to choose from various skills and abilities (including force powers if they are a Jedi). Force powers are split into dark and light.

The player characters are also divided up into classes such as "Jedi Guardian" who is a combat based (light sabre using) Jedi Knight.

Equipment plays a big part in the game, and there is a degree of item creation which involves having armour and weapons with "slots" which can be filled with various other items which enhance them.

Combat runs a lot like other BioWare games such as Neverwinter Nights. You can pause the game, issue combat commands, and then resume the game and watch them take effect. This gives the player time to strategise and make the most of every battle.

The player is able to travel to various planets in the system, each one has a unique environment and mini-story.

Positives

Great story, especially the Revan reveal halfway through. A fun and satisfying twist on the role playing game, which in my opinion blew its contemporaries out of the water.

Negatives

None. Some people didn't like the slower pace of combat (compared to Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy for example) but I personally liked it a lot.

Memorable Moments

I played the game twice, once as a Jedi Guardian with a lightsabre in each hand. I was very powerful, and found the game quite easy. The second time I chose a Sith and used my force abilities mostly (only had a short lightsabre). I enjoyed the challenge of that a lot.